You see, that photograph is the perfect embodiment of what we're talking about. The cropped hair, the too-cool-for-thou smirk, fashionable skinny tie, the crisp white dress shirt, the elegant vest. Impeccable. Nothing on this Earth is perfect, which is precisely why our lord and leader is from out of this world.
You see, even if the King of all Things Badass did not always look as if chiseled by the hand of God, your loyal subjects could care less that you arose from less than impeccable origins. No -- it is in fact endearing, for your loyal subjects look upon your transformation and see the hope glimmering yonder. From this, your loyal followers learn the sacred truths: (1) Even the Badass One arose from humble beginnings; what separates the stars from the ashes is the will power to succeed, and (2) Don't pick on the overweight kid at school, because if history is any indication, he will become one of the most famous musical artists in his home country and reign as Supreme Ruler of All Things Badass.O Badass One, I have been a faithful follower of Badassery. I never questioned why you donned a green dinosaur suit.
I never questioned your wardrobe color pallet, the choice of pairing of a leather hot pink jacket with a sky blue muffler, or the sculpting of the Crown of Badassery into the shape of a befuddled pompadour.
In fact, it took much will power to never question your fondness for pairing hot pink with shades of blue.
And even when you appeared with silver hair reminiscent of premature graying, I said nothing, assuming that with a bandmate like G-Dragon changing hair styles like a chameleon every other day, it was understandable that you would feel tempted the same.
Nothing, however, prepared me for what I soon encountered.
Who is this? It looks like the lovechild of Cruella DeVil and Lucius Malfoy...
YOUR ROYAL BADASSNESS?? IT'S YOU?? ARE YOU ILL?? WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR??
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LOLL
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