This was part of Gene Luen Yang's cartoon response to the whole hullabaloo, which kind of echoes my own sentiments:
I actually showed my mother the article, and she pretty much said exactly what the above cartoon says right there.I feel like way too much has been said about this already -- perhaps more eloquently then I can at the moment. But really, I'm disgusted by some of the sentiments that are out there. Apparently Amy Chua has received death threats about her parenting. REALLY NOW? Her kid seems perfectly fine and level-headed to me -- and if we're sending death threats to mothers who are actually caring about their kids, why don't people start threatening the mothers who completely neglect their children and play no part in their lives?
The complexities of parenting are no news to me -- having been raised by a mother with her own set of somewhat strict rules, I know my mother disagrees with some of the parenting methods of my peers' parents. But it's not like my mother would march up to their doors and tell the other families they're doing it wrong. It's really none of our business.
I like to joke with my friends that there is no good English translation for the Chinese verb 罵 (ma4). "Scold" and "lecture" are too mild; "yell" isn't quite the same thing; "curse" and "swear" are too vulgar. This is the verb you would use to describe when a parent admonishes her kid, but it's not a "let's-sit-down-and-talk-about-what-you-did-wrong" -- this can usually reach a certain decibel at which your dog realizes it's time to run off to another room until the storm is over. I really think it's a cultural thing -- and much of the backlash against Amy Chua is the problem of not understanding the cultural issues that are inherent in this kind of parenting style.
Honestly, think whatever you think. Personally, I think I turned out fine, though maybe you think otherwise. I think this blog is a testament that my creativity is far from suffocated -- rejecting the argument Chua critics like to make about how her method stifles her children's creativity. I think I've referenced Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers before in this blog, but I still believe in his 10000-Hour Rule. There's no question that some people are born with more talent than others. But that talent doesn't get you anywhere unless you actually hone it with practice. I learned this over and over again in my youth, whether I was practicing for tennis or practicing for piano. I don't think I am particularly talented in either one -- but what made everyone think I was so good at it in high school was simply how much work I put into it. During my three years of middle school, I played 2.5 hours of tennis and 1 hour of piano every day, seven days a week. That makes approximately 2700 hours of tennis and 1100 hours of piano -- and that's only in middle school. I started piano when I was five years old, and I was still doing both tennis and piano in high school.
How does a pre-teen kid develop the persistence and discipline to play 2.5 hours of tennis and sit in front of the piano for an hour every day? Bow down to the Tiger Mom.
2 comments:
My biology teacher read this article to us today. It's interesting to see the different reactions since my school is predominantly Chinese. I think a good portion of the kids who grew up under Asian parentage with traditional methods would say that despite the initial harshness, it does make a lot of sense, myself included.
Alternatively, your parent can be "neglectful" and the preteen-cum-teenager can still manage to commit herself to something and utterly enjoy it without admonishing. As someone with Chinese heritage but a decidedly un-Chinese upbringing, I feel okay about where I am and where I've gone.
Post a Comment