Mood Swings

I can't remember when in my life have I ever been so on-and-off downright irritable.

I am so vain.

I am so judgmental.

I just hide it exceptionally well.

Take the problem of S -- if you had asked me a semester ago, I would have said she was my closest friend here. Ask me now, and if I'm being honest with you, I'll tell you that I'm getting more and more annoyed at her every day. There are just some days when I just want to avoid her.

And this scares me, because this isn't the first time it's happened. There have been a couple people in my life -- all of a sudden, I find myself getting gradually more and more repelled by them, despite the fact that I had been fairly close to them before.

There are a lot of things I just want to vomit out in one go, but I can't. I don't know for sure who I can trust here, and my friends elsewhere are busy with their own lives.

I was happy at one point today, when I had a good conversation with Mouse -- one of the best conversations I've had in a long time, with whom I'm starting to believe I can confide in without worrying that my words are going to be spread. (I learned about S the hard way.) Then my mood suddenly took a downturn for the worst at dinner, for reasons I cannot quite say on here.

Sigh. Somebody cure me. Maybe I need some psychoanalysis.