DNF: Love in the Time of Cholera

It's official. I have officially slapped Love in the Time of Cholera with DNF status.

I loved Marquez's writing style, but good lord I was all out of fucks to give about Florentino Ariza. If you plan on reading this book, then you should probably stop reading right here.

The book starts off at the end of the timeline, with Urbino and his wife Fermina living in old age. Urbina dies in a mishap involving a pet parrot. Right at the end of his funeral, an old man approaches the newly widowed Fermina and re-proclaims his undying love for her. And thus almost immediately, Florentino and I get off on the wrong foot.

The book then rewinds to the beginning, when Florentino and Fermina are young and exchange secret love letters. Their courtship continues even after her father discovers the relationship and uproots the family to get away from him. When Fermina finally returns, she sees him in person and all the magic is lost (i.e. "WTF WAS I THINKING??!!"); she tells him she doesn't love him and soon marries Dr. Urbino, her father's chosen suitor, thus effectively demolishing Florentino's tender heart.

The rest of the story essentially becomes the tale of how Florentino pines "chastely" and "faithfully" for Fermina for the rest of his life. While sleeping with a ton of women on the side. I don't even remember the exact number, because there were too many to keep track of. Possibly hundreds. I have no idea what happens in the end, or how Fermina responds to Florentino's confession. I'd like to imagine that she tells him to GTFO and kicks him out of her house, but to be honest, I don't really care about what happens.

I'm not sure how this story is supposed to be interpreted. If it's supposed to be a sentimental romance about the endurance of love or something, then it completely rubbed me the wrong way. To me, there was nothing remotely romantic or beautiful about his lifelong pining. Cry me a river, build me a bridge, and GET OVER IT, FLORENTINO. If it's supposed to be the story of one man's lovesickness-turned-mental-delusion that leads to him living a stunted life, then Marquez did a great job, but unfortunately I was so turned off by Florentino that I couldn't even bring myself to finish the book.

I do have to say, the book caused me to re-evaluate myself in ways that made me quite uncomfortable. I've read many stories in the past where I totally bought the "pining" bait, hook line and sinker. Not to mention that I participated in my own fair share for some years (cough). Also, there was an incident last semester that I've refused to blog about, but let's just say that when you're on the receiving end of unwanted attention, all that pining stuff just gives you the heebie-jeebies.

In other news, last week I decided to pre-order Dreams of Gods and Monsters, aka the final book in the Daughter of Smoke and Bone triology. If you buy the first-print from Barnes and Nobles, it comes with a signed drawing of Karou by the queen Laini Taylor herself. And since my boss gave me a B&N giftcard for Christmas, it all worked out. CANNOT WAIT.