Hello, 2010

Only four hours left of this year.

It's been a monumental year for me, I suppose. I finally cured myself of my long-term illness, so to speak. I emerged from my first semester of college bloodied and wounded confident-wise, but still standing. I finally sparked some personal interest back to my beloved story, which had its first taste of near-death during its 11-month drought. I sang in front of an audience for the first time (and never intend to do so again). I experienced the best summer of my life -- truly getting to know my cultural roots and my extended family and meeting some of the most amazing people I'll be keeping in touch with for a long time. And of course, there have been a lot of good memories with my childhood friends and my immediate family. 2009 was insane but it was an exciting end to the decade and to my childhood.

I don't think I ever actually wrote down my goals/resolutions for 2009 -- and I don't remember them anymore anyways. But I figure it'll be good to write some down so I can check up on myself as the year goes on:

1. Lose weight. Although I didn't gain as much weight as I expected, pounds are still pounds. I need to stop eating so much junk food when I'm stressed. And play more tennis.
   
2. Be nicer. I have a horrible tendency to be snarky or just plain antisocial -- perhaps not intentionally, but still not very friendly nevertheless -- something I didn't really become conscious of until I went to college. I will be a friendlier person -- for example, wave to people when I run into them instead of casting my eyes down or admiring a distant tree and pretending I don't see them. On a similar note...
3. Be better at keeping in touch. Not that I'm going to start signing online and using Skype or AIM more often, since I can never get anything done that way. But at least keep some semblance of a friendship intact.
   
4. Improve GPA. Ideally, I've learned from my mistakes this semester and won't make the same mistakes again. I'll start getting good scores right from the very first midterm instead of scrambling to top my scores and playing catch-up for the rest of the semester.
5. Finish EP. I know some of you are cracking up. But I'm giving myself the goal of finishing the entire damn thing by the end of 2010. Though I haven't been updating, recently I've been spending every single day revising the storyline. I've got a long way to go, but the fire is back and the writer's block is gone.
6. Chill. The lyrics of "Street Spirit" by Radiohead are dark and despairing. But the song ends with the repeated line, "Immerse your soul in love." If I go through another quarter-life crisis, this time I'll know who to talk to and who's there for me.
   

And now, like everyone else who is making these top-ten lists at the end of the year, I think I'll make a list of Sophelia's 2009 Top Ten Posts ranked in order of which posts I like the best (rather than number of comments, since there are plenty of posts I am fond of that nobody commented on). Yeah, I know -- I'm egotistical. And they are:

10. Anatomy of a Train Wreck. Okay, so maybe "Your Classmate" had a point about me talking about my roommate on my blog. But I ended up placing this one at No. 10 because, to be honest, writing about Marlowe (who I get along with perfectly fine, to set the record straight) taught me two things: 1) The characters in my writing are dead nothingness compared to someone as colorfully alive as Marlowe, and 2) If I want my characters to be real, they need to be as detailed right down to the idiosyncrasies as when I write about Marlowe. Everything is a learning experience!

9. Revisited. It's not my best. But I felt like I had to pick this one because it really felt like a return to the old style my blog used to have, when everything was ambiguously symbolic.

8. Disney Princes. I feel I'm almost obligated to pick this one on the list somewhere. Why? Apparently my blog shows up when you try searching for Disney Princes on Google Images. I might disable my site meter for my own sanity, but it's been useful in relaying to me that apparently, this is probably my most popular post in terms of hits. I, however, don't think it's my best piece of work -- hence why it's at No. 8.

7. Alternate Ending. Another short, artsy piece. Yeah, I have a thing for Greek mythology.

6. The Pane of Glass. I didn't win the caption contest that I Wrote This For You held -- I have a feeling my morbid tendencies don't exactly complement the uplifting poetic lines on that beautiful blog. But I still like what I managed to come up with. Even if it is pessimistic.

5. The Countdown. I have a tendency to write in third person. This was one of those moments. It's a pretty accurate snapshot of my last few days of summer before heading off to college.

4. έρωτα και τον θάνατο. Yes, I had to use Google Translator for that. It's Greek for "Love and Death." One of the more artistic pieces in my repertoire, and certainly one with an idea I've thought about a lot. Seems to be my theme. Haha.

3. Letter from an Upset Swine. The unusual thing about this post is that I wrote it frantically last minute during print date when we realized that there was an empty space on one of the opinions pages. I picked this one just because I'm impressed with how I manged to churn out something remotely funny under pressure with so little time.

2. And They Lived Happily Ever After. It's a personal thing, I suppose. But I'm fond of the rhythm of this one.

1. The Case Against Snow White. In terms of my cynicism and sarcasm, I don't think any other post on this blog can top this. Not to mention, this is one of the few posts that actually made me laugh aloud as I was writing it. (Yeah, I was very pleased about my Edward Cullen/Evil Witch jab... cough. I'm not that narcissistic, I promise.)

And now, I have finally finished writing the post: it is 1:20 AM PST and I should be going to sleep. No -- I was not writing this for five hours. I finally ventured out of my cave (aka my room) and hung out at J's house with my closest high school friends. Now I really regret not hanging out with them more while I've been home. I already miss them like hell. But on the bright side, I get to see my "sisters" tomorrow. Tonight was the blue moon -- I can't say anything out of the ordinary happened. But I feel hopeful... that this year's gonna be a good year.

*hums the Black-Eyed Peas song*