The Extraordinary League of Kickassery

The idea of having a blogging platform never crossed my mind until this year. I'd always blogged narcisistically about myself, with interspersed moments of social commentary or artistic work here and there. But then I stumbled upon an article detailing how people have built entire careers and fortunes through blogging. BLOGGING! And all these years I've been doing it for nary a penny!

But then again, I have no idea what I could blog about exclusively that would be of any interest to others. My life? HAHAHA. I tried tagging my posts (and gave up after about one year's worth) and came to the conclusion that my posts can divided into three categories: confessional diary-like entries, vignettes/poetry, and attempts at being funny. Of the latter, topics are further narrowed down to three things: Disney, Twilight bashing, and of course, the honorable Badass One. All in all, I think I am too easily bored and far too easily distracted to be able to blog exclusively on one subject.

Speaking of the Badass One, it suddenly come to my attention that I never finished my analysis of his music video. Eh -- like I said, I'm too easily distracted and at this point, I have no desire to see jester-sluts pasting themselves over the Lord of All Things Badass. What I DID do yesterday, however, was spend nearly five hours watching the documentary on the formation of the Badass One's Extraordinary League of Kickassery, a.k.a. BIGBANG.

Watching that ten-episode documentary was something like watching a movie when you've already read the synopsis of Wikipedia. Kudos to the editor for trying to create some tension, but since the faces of the five are pasted all over Asia at this point, I found the dramatic voice-overs completely laughable. Who will the President cut from the group??? Gee, let me think real hard.

One thing that did surprise me was the rigor of the training the Five underwent. I don't know how the American entertainment industry works in this regard, but from what I've gathered about South Korea, raising and training stars is akin to a manufacturing business. They underwent daily training -- mainly vocal and dance lessons. Compliments were rare -- the head honchos and trainers were firm believers that criticism is the best fertilizer for greatness. Then there's JHS (I forget how to spell his name), who was the only member cut out of the six trainees.


I guess I should have felt sorry for him. I mean, he devoted all that time training to be a star, and then he was unceremoniously rejected TWICE. And yet my sympathy for this guy is barely existent. Just look at the picture -- I'm so used to seeing the Five in their glorious selves that JHS sticks out like a tumor. I never understood why they kept calling him the "pretty" one that the girls would go for. Okay, I will admit that I REALLY dislike that length of hair on guys (probably because my hair used to be that length). But I didn't understand why the head honchos would make so much hooplah about that guy's looks when freaking GODOT was in their midst. And I guess I should be able to relate to his problem with being unnatural with expressions -- I myself have problems being relaxed when I perform -- but while part of me is kind of like him, the other half of me is completely ps-s-s-sycho. When his dance trainer told him to make faces during the dance, he couldn't do it. I was like, DUDE JUST STICK OUT YOUR TONGUE OR SOMETHING. IT'S NOT THAT HARD! I was probably making more faces watching him struggle in that one scene than he made in the entire documentary.

In any case, I have a lot more respect for the Five now that I've seen what they've gone through. It's brutal. Seeing them fight that hard to make a dream come true only reminds me of how readily I distract myself so I don't have to sit down and actually write.

Ahem. And now, time to talk about the beloved Badass One.

The advantage of already knowing how the story ends is that I didn't blow a gasket when the documentary depicted just how close the Badass One came to being eliminated from the group. There's this one scene where the President sits down with his underlings; he tells them he has in mind the two that he wants to cut from the group, but he wants to hear which two they each would pick out of the four trainees (the other two were already on contract). Everybody wanted to keep Daesung, which I had nothing against. I have nothing against Seungri either. But you have no idea how miffed I was when only one person said they would take the glorious piece of flesh depicted in the picture above. ONE PERSON?? The other three had multiple backers, but only one person would have picked the Badass One to join the Extraordinary League of Kickassery. Really now -- WHY WOULD YOU PICK THAT EXPRESSIONLESS PUMPKIN OVER THIS PINNACLE OF HUMAN EVOLUTION? Thank goodness the President was smart enough to realize that his underlings were fools.

It's not even just about looks here. The Extraordinary League of Kickassery wouldn't even be a quarter Kickass if it weren't for T.O.P. Obviously I'm extremely biased here, but whereas you can probably take one of the singers (Daesung, Seungri, Taeyang) out of a song and it'll still have that BIGBANG flavor, if you take that deep, husky rapping voice out, you'll end up with any of the other dime-a-dozen Korean boy bands. Not only that, the ten episodes of their "inside story" made it more clear than anything else -- the Badass One has charisma. He is the trickster of the group and directs the mood and energy more than anyone else. He'll get in trouble with their chaperone and then charm his way over to her good side. He makes people laugh themselves silly as he raps freestyle in his Paul Frank pajama bottoms. Whereas DS and SR wins over fans with their "cuteness," the Badass One knocks them out with his bad boy looks AND his charming wit. Yeah, obviously a lot of girls prefer the pretty boys -- but don't neglect the girls who prefer guys that don't look like they pump estrogen every morning.

Ahem. Okay, I need to pack. Peace out.