Ephemera

"Your eyes that once were never weary of mine
Are bowed in sorrow under pendulous lids,
Because our love is waning."

And then she: 

"Although our love is waning, let us stand
By the lone border of the lake once more,
Together in that hour of gentleness
When the poor tired child, Passion, falls asleep:
How far away the stars seem, and how far
Is our first kiss, and ah, how old my heart!“

Pensive they paced along the faded leaves,
While slowly he whose hand held hers replied:
"Passion has often worn our wandering hearts."

The woods were round them, and the yellow leaves
Fell like faint meteors in the gloom, and once
A rabbit old and lame limped down the path;
Autumn was over him: and now they stood
On the lone border of the lake once more:
Turning, he saw that she had thrust dead leaves
Gathered in silence, dewy as her eyes,
In bosom and hair.

"Ah, do not mourn," he said, 

"That we are tired, for other loves await us;
Hate on and love through unrepining hours.
Before us lies eternity; our souls
Are love, and a continual farewell."

-- W.B. Yeats

Yazawa Junkie

Ai Yazawa has been on hiatus since 2009 due to an illness that she had to be hospitalized for. This occurred right around the time when a significant death occurred in the story arc of Nana. I'm hard-pressed to think of another fictional character's death that impacted me the same way as this one did. Though Yazawa was released from the hospital a year later in 2010, she hasn't produced much work since.

Every once in a while, I check the forums to see if there are any updates on Yazawa's condition. I was quite ecstatic to learn that, though she has not confirmed anything regarding continuing Nana, Yazawa has started drawing again. Check out the new cover art for the new reprinting of Last Quarter -- it makes me excited just looking at it.

I skimmed a book once about music -- why we like the stuff we do. There's a general idea that the things you like as a teenager tend to leave the most impact later on in your life. From personal experience, this is true for me. My musical tastes have ventured in all sorts of directions, but rock music remains the baseline go-to. The same applies to the books and stories I liked at that age. Francesca Lia Block's Wasteland remains monumental.

But one of the most significant influences on my story tastes remains Ai Yazawa. I worshiped Nana to the point that I imitated Nana Osaki, and EP owes a lot of its roots to Nana's rock-and-roll background. I still remember my favorite lines from Paradise Kiss, especially the unconventional bittersweet ending. I even typed down the translated monologue in the last chapter of Last Quarter, where Adam speaks from the afterlife to the other characters, ending with the last verse of his song about "losing the sun that is you."

I've been thinking a lot more about EP recently. I'm working full-time next year as I apply to medical school, and my hope is that once I finish my applications, I will be able to use my free time after work to finally make progress on the story. Having taken two creative writing classes this spring, I've developed a fresh perspective on storytelling and I'm eager to work on my life's project. EP is heavily inspired by Yazawa's works. I owe a lot of my artistic tastes to Ai Yazawa, and I eagerly await her return.

Double Review: Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby & Jellicoe Road

Two days ago, I graduated from college. Crazy how time flies.

As a treat, I've decided to write a double review for the new Great Gatsby movie, as well as Melina Marchetta's novel Jellicoe Road, which I should have read ages ago.

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The Great Gatsby (2013)

I was super-stoked about this film in a way I've never been in my life. I watched all three trailers obsessively. I looked up the film soundtrack and started listening to the songs on repeat. When the mediocre reviews started coming in, I was a little bummed but whatever--this was probably my favorite book in AP English back in junior year of high school, and unless they completely butcher the plot the way they did with Ella Enchanted, it should still be enjoyable, right?

Unfortunately, perhaps due to the fact that I slept four hours the night before, I had to force myself to stay awake at the 11 PM screening last Friday. My friend E was not so lucky and fell asleep halfway through. Was it because I already knew the storyline? I really wonder how someone with no knowledge of the book would react to the film, but considering how almost everyone reads this book in high school, I can't think of anyone I know who would be able to relay this perspective to me.

Something just felt off about this movie. It was visually very gorgeous -- I particularly liked the West Egg and East Egg mansions. And I don't know if I'm the only one who thinks this, but I really liked Lana Del Rey's "Young and Beautiful" as the musical theme for the key moments between Gatsby and Daisy. But there was no substantial emotional pull to the movie for me. I was actually annoyed by how blatantly the symbolism of the Eckleberg glasses (eyes of God) was hammered in. (I felt a little better about the green light, since it's THE major symbol of the book. But still a little too much.)

I'm still undecided about how I feel about the casting. I have a lot of respect for Leonardo DiCaprio as an actor, but I don't think I ever really accepted that I was watching the story of Jay Gatsby and not Leonardo DiCaprio walking around in the 1920s. Usually he's pretty immersed in his roles that I forget about him as an actor (ex. Inception, Blood Diamond), but not this time around. As for Carey Mulligan as Daisy? Daisy has always been a complicated character that I never quite grasp completely, so I think my bewilderment is likely due to the source material. I didn't quite feel the chemistry between the two, but since Daisy couldn't really make up her mind between Gatsby and Tom in the novel either, I can't hold much against them for it.

Overall, a little disappointing, but a couple of good things came out of watching this. One, I still really like a lot of the songs on the soundtrack, so I'm glad the film introduced me to some nice music. Two, I was reminded of how much I admire Fitzgerald's writing, so the next book on my TBR list will be This Side of Paradise.

Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta

I bought this book last year when Half.com was having a huge sale. The first time I tried to pick it up was in August, and I couldn't get past the first two chapters. Then I bought the e-book when it was on sale via Amazon a few months ago, and so I read the whole thing on my Kindle when I was coming back to California from North Carolina. The beginning of the book was definitely difficult to get through, but this second time, I stuck around instead of giving up, and this story was definitely worth it.

I'm not going to write a synopsis for this book. I dived in without knowing what this novel was about, and I think the less you know, the better the payoff. It's the kind of book that I've always dreamed of writing, where the fragments fit together neatly at the end in a beautifully wrought journey. I haven't come across a love interest this sa-WOON-worthy since Wes from The Truth About Forever, but the romance is secondary to the greater story arc about friendships and the interconnectedness of people's lives, even across time.

There were some things I had an issue with. As I mentioned before, I wonder if the beginning could have been framed in a different way that would have been less jarring. I confess, I might have given up on this book a second time if I hadn't been stuck on an airplane with nothing else to do. I also had an issue with the "war" between the three factions that sets off the beginning of the novel. I was expecting more "battles" like the manure scene, but the territory war quickly dropped into the background and made hardly a peep by the time we reached halfway into the book.

It's not a perfect book, but it's definitely climbed up the ranks of my favorite YA books. It's the kind of poignant book that I wish I can write one day.

Garnet and Sapphire

The season has changed.
The wind it blows colder now, colder now.
The clouds are raised.
The rain it falls harder now, all around.

 "The Ocean"' by Mae

You introduced me to this song. Unknowingly, of course. I used to frequent your blog and I'd look up the cryptic lyrics you would post, in hopes of deciphering some meaning in the pretty words. 

We arrived at the beach house late last night. I didn't walk to the beach then--it was too cold and wet outside. I slept a little uncomfortably with a pillow and some blankets on the carpeted floor, and then woke up this morning at around 9 am. As I stepped into the shower, a flash of memory swept through me. I suddenly remembered that I had dreamt of you. You were asking me if you should buy certain gemstone iPhone cases -- a sapphire one for you, and a garnet one for your girlfriend.  You told me her name was Garnet. I told you they looked nice, but in reality I didn't particularly care. 

It's a little funny, you know. How someone who once meant the world to you could barely exist in your life years later. But when I walked along the shoreline this morning and stared out into the rippling waters of the Atlantic, I thought about what happened to you and me. How I used to pester you online almost every night, and how happy I was when you told me you could tell me almost anything. And then for some reason, it all disappeared.

I recollect the pieces each time I return to the ocean. Looking out from the highest bleachers, watching the Japanese horror movie on Halloween night, getting sugar highs from green tea ice cream, realizing that the brown streaks across the windshield were dead migrant butterflies. I wonder what you're doing now, though I have no real desire to know. The gravitational pull that once drew me to you is gone. But each time I return to the water, your song comes back to me again.