Nostalgia and I don't get along. He pours salt on a wound I'd much rather forget, and so I am sitting here thinking about You when I should be doing something productive. Funny isn't, how You and I never get anything productive done. There's always another day, another tomorrow, and then you turn around and see the hourglass, with each grain trickling down to join the ever-growing sand dune at the bottom.
So I had a brilliant idea. Instead of playing this game of Cat and Mouse, which we are such experts at, we can finally put some use to the nonsensical metaphors and obtuse obscurity. And write a book.
How to Scare the Shit Out of Everyone By Writing About Your Crazy Psychotic Dreams: For Dummies
How to Elongate a Simple 'That Bitch Broke My Heart' into Thirteen Lines: For Dummies
How to Use Every Possible Synonym for Red to Describe 'Blood': For Dummies
How to Profess Your Misery Into Obscure Poetry : For Dummies
How to Write to An Undefined 'You' For the Sake of Anonymity: For Dummies
and finally
How to Dissect Every Word and Line in Hopes of Finding a Hidden Meaning: For You.
June 10, 2007
June 3, 2007
Murderess: a waltz in 3/4 time
Intro (1/4)
Complete strangers fascinate me. There's something about watching their movements from the quad at lunch hour that keeps the schoolday from becoming dull.
There is a girl and a boy. I've noticed them around school from time to time. He is lean and very tall, with dark brown hair and almond eyes. She is small, yet I imagine that she has a fierce personality. There's a look on her face that says she'll be sweet when she wants to be.
At first, I thought they were a mismatched pair. He looks like a jock; with the nose piercing, she looks like a punk. I would see them on my way to English - she stands on the bench by the trees, arms around his shoulders. This is how they see eye-to-eye. Without the bench, she doesn't even reach his shoulders.
But if you watch for awhile, you can tell they genuinely love each other. They always look like they're joking with each other - none of the awkward tension I've seen too many times between couples that have no communication. Those girls and boys resort to physical affection to ease their discomfort.
Rhys is based on him, as Rory is based on her. I've had fun imagining how they first met.
But in this dream, it didn't matter.
Part I (2/4)
The journo room was packed today. Faces I had never seen before were laughing, crying, and whining everywhere. There were people screwing around the computers - others were just plain socializing.
I walked through the doorway into the room, brushing by Rhys who was in deep conversation with Roseanna. I suddenly remembered - I hadn't seen Rory and Rhys on their bench during the passing period today. They had simply walked off in seperate directions without a single glance.
"No, I don't want to," Roseanna said, though the expression on her face said otherwise.
He read the right lines right off of her face. "Come on, Roseanna," the corners of his mouth tilted upwards. "You know you want to. Just this once, alright?"
She draped her arms coyly around neck. The temptress. The nymph. Disgusted, I turned and walked to the row of computers on the otherside of the room.
Connie was talking to a group of our friends when I approached. "Guess what I found out? That 'hot' cellist actually saw you guys taking pictures of him."
Ariel, Jessica, and G exchanged glances before bursting out in laughter.
"Yeah," Connie continued. "And apparently he likes the one named Lily. The light-skinned one."
"What the fuck? Which one of us is Lily?"
"Haha probably Jessica. Guess what? Now you've got a Stalker #5!"
"Oh shut up!"
I ignored them and turned on the computer next to Jennifer. We were the only page editors working in the room. Connie sat down beside me when I noticed Roseanna and Rhys making out in the chair not too far from where we sat.
"Oh god, can they please get a room?" I muttered. I thought even the Nymph had some decency not to work it in a classroom.
Connie turned to look. "Oooh he's cute," she said. "I'd totally go out with him." (very out of character for C)
"Are you nuts?! If you start something with him, it'll be serious. Let's just say, it's obvious he's definitely not a virgin."
To my dismay, she rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm gonna go say hi."
As she stood up, I groaned and turned to Jennifer. "I can't believe she's actually going to do it."
Jennifer glanced over to the chair. "Don't look now. The Nymph is practically giving him a blow job."
I winced. "Someone just shoot me now..." Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and found myself staring straight into Rory's face.
She was not dressed in her usual clothes. She wore a blue track jacket, lime green tank top, black jeans, and leather ankle-high boots. The usual eyeshadow and eyeliner caked on her face was gone.
"He's here, isn't he?" It was more of a statement than a question. She looked cold, the way her eyes seemed to be frosted with ice. I couldn't see any emotion in those mirrors.
Quietly, I pointed over to the chair. He was multi-tasking, talking to Connie without even keeping his eyes off of the Nymph. Rory turned to look and said softly, "Of course. He'd go to Roseanna first." Suddenly, I noticed the gleam of a handle hidden in her jacket pocket. Whether it was a knife, a gun, a stapler, I felt a chill down my neck.
"Rory, please don't do anything stupid," I felt ridiculous, trying to lecture this girl who didn't even know me. I didn't even know why she had come to talk to me. But I tried pleading anyway, because I could see all the fault-lines running across her face. It was only a matter of time before she cracked. "He's in pain too. It's not just you. That's why he would resort to the Nymph. Rory-"
She pressed the handgun against my head. "Sorry, but it's too late now. Don't get in my way." She stood up, distanced herself carefully to get a clear shot at him. I watched in panicked silence. Connie was standing in Rory's path to Rhys.
"Wait a second!" I whispered fiercely. She whirled around and pointed the gun at me. "No no no, but you can't shoot Connie!"
She simply nodded and refocused her attention. I watched in dreaded silence as she walked closer to the chair, closer to Rhys. Jennifer was in complete harmony with her surroundings as I grew agitated.
"I can't just let her kill him!" Jennifer looked at me seriously. "There's not much you can do now," she said quietly. "She's reached the point of no return."
Time seemed to trickle during those last moments. I forced myself not to look, bracing myself for the gunshot, for the scream. Anything.
Part II (3/4)
They were only a few yards apart now. The Nymph's back was facing her. She didn't see what was coming.
Rhys finally saw her, as she stood there watching him emptily. His eyes opened wide. She read the hurt and the helplessness in his eyes. They were mirrors, him and her.
But she couldn't forgive her reflection.
The Nymph screamed as the blood sprayed from his forehead. Gray matter and crimson ribbons of blood flew across the air. The entire room scrambled, screaming in panic towards the door. Rory calmly tucked the handgun inside her jacket pocket and walked towards the door.
Only Jennifer and I remained sitting in there, in complete shock and remorse. '
An administrative official walked around confusedly and fearfully in the room, unsure of whether to run for her life or to tend to the bleeding body sprawled across the floors. "Who did this?" she asked numbly.
"I did." Rory turned around in the doorframe, waving, unafraid of any consequence to come.
Her eyes met mine. She blew a kiss and smiled. It was the first genuine smile I had seen on her face this entire day.
------------------------------------------------------
I can't remember the last time I had such a graphic violent dream. I wonder why those two got tangled into this story.
Complete strangers fascinate me. There's something about watching their movements from the quad at lunch hour that keeps the schoolday from becoming dull.
There is a girl and a boy. I've noticed them around school from time to time. He is lean and very tall, with dark brown hair and almond eyes. She is small, yet I imagine that she has a fierce personality. There's a look on her face that says she'll be sweet when she wants to be.
At first, I thought they were a mismatched pair. He looks like a jock; with the nose piercing, she looks like a punk. I would see them on my way to English - she stands on the bench by the trees, arms around his shoulders. This is how they see eye-to-eye. Without the bench, she doesn't even reach his shoulders.
But if you watch for awhile, you can tell they genuinely love each other. They always look like they're joking with each other - none of the awkward tension I've seen too many times between couples that have no communication. Those girls and boys resort to physical affection to ease their discomfort.
Rhys is based on him, as Rory is based on her. I've had fun imagining how they first met.
But in this dream, it didn't matter.
Part I (2/4)
The journo room was packed today. Faces I had never seen before were laughing, crying, and whining everywhere. There were people screwing around the computers - others were just plain socializing.
I walked through the doorway into the room, brushing by Rhys who was in deep conversation with Roseanna. I suddenly remembered - I hadn't seen Rory and Rhys on their bench during the passing period today. They had simply walked off in seperate directions without a single glance.
"No, I don't want to," Roseanna said, though the expression on her face said otherwise.
He read the right lines right off of her face. "Come on, Roseanna," the corners of his mouth tilted upwards. "You know you want to. Just this once, alright?"
She draped her arms coyly around neck. The temptress. The nymph. Disgusted, I turned and walked to the row of computers on the otherside of the room.
Connie was talking to a group of our friends when I approached. "Guess what I found out? That 'hot' cellist actually saw you guys taking pictures of him."
Ariel, Jessica, and G exchanged glances before bursting out in laughter.
"Yeah," Connie continued. "And apparently he likes the one named Lily. The light-skinned one."
"What the fuck? Which one of us is Lily?"
"Haha probably Jessica. Guess what? Now you've got a Stalker #5!"
"Oh shut up!"
I ignored them and turned on the computer next to Jennifer. We were the only page editors working in the room. Connie sat down beside me when I noticed Roseanna and Rhys making out in the chair not too far from where we sat.
"Oh god, can they please get a room?" I muttered. I thought even the Nymph had some decency not to work it in a classroom.
Connie turned to look. "Oooh he's cute," she said. "I'd totally go out with him." (very out of character for C)
"Are you nuts?! If you start something with him, it'll be serious. Let's just say, it's obvious he's definitely not a virgin."
To my dismay, she rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I'm gonna go say hi."
As she stood up, I groaned and turned to Jennifer. "I can't believe she's actually going to do it."
Jennifer glanced over to the chair. "Don't look now. The Nymph is practically giving him a blow job."
I winced. "Someone just shoot me now..." Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned and found myself staring straight into Rory's face.
She was not dressed in her usual clothes. She wore a blue track jacket, lime green tank top, black jeans, and leather ankle-high boots. The usual eyeshadow and eyeliner caked on her face was gone.
"He's here, isn't he?" It was more of a statement than a question. She looked cold, the way her eyes seemed to be frosted with ice. I couldn't see any emotion in those mirrors.
Quietly, I pointed over to the chair. He was multi-tasking, talking to Connie without even keeping his eyes off of the Nymph. Rory turned to look and said softly, "Of course. He'd go to Roseanna first." Suddenly, I noticed the gleam of a handle hidden in her jacket pocket. Whether it was a knife, a gun, a stapler, I felt a chill down my neck.
"Rory, please don't do anything stupid," I felt ridiculous, trying to lecture this girl who didn't even know me. I didn't even know why she had come to talk to me. But I tried pleading anyway, because I could see all the fault-lines running across her face. It was only a matter of time before she cracked. "He's in pain too. It's not just you. That's why he would resort to the Nymph. Rory-"
She pressed the handgun against my head. "Sorry, but it's too late now. Don't get in my way." She stood up, distanced herself carefully to get a clear shot at him. I watched in panicked silence. Connie was standing in Rory's path to Rhys.
"Wait a second!" I whispered fiercely. She whirled around and pointed the gun at me. "No no no, but you can't shoot Connie!"
She simply nodded and refocused her attention. I watched in dreaded silence as she walked closer to the chair, closer to Rhys. Jennifer was in complete harmony with her surroundings as I grew agitated.
"I can't just let her kill him!" Jennifer looked at me seriously. "There's not much you can do now," she said quietly. "She's reached the point of no return."
Time seemed to trickle during those last moments. I forced myself not to look, bracing myself for the gunshot, for the scream. Anything.
Part II (3/4)
They were only a few yards apart now. The Nymph's back was facing her. She didn't see what was coming.
Rhys finally saw her, as she stood there watching him emptily. His eyes opened wide. She read the hurt and the helplessness in his eyes. They were mirrors, him and her.
But she couldn't forgive her reflection.
The Nymph screamed as the blood sprayed from his forehead. Gray matter and crimson ribbons of blood flew across the air. The entire room scrambled, screaming in panic towards the door. Rory calmly tucked the handgun inside her jacket pocket and walked towards the door.
Only Jennifer and I remained sitting in there, in complete shock and remorse. '
An administrative official walked around confusedly and fearfully in the room, unsure of whether to run for her life or to tend to the bleeding body sprawled across the floors. "Who did this?" she asked numbly.
"I did." Rory turned around in the doorframe, waving, unafraid of any consequence to come.
Her eyes met mine. She blew a kiss and smiled. It was the first genuine smile I had seen on her face this entire day.
------------------------------------------------------
I can't remember the last time I had such a graphic violent dream. I wonder why those two got tangled into this story.
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