La La Land

My god, even with the few bones I had to pick about the last third, I loved this movie.

I watched La La Land yesterday with my parents, my brother, and his girlfriend. We discussed the movie afterwards as we waited for the waitress to take our orders. Our reactions ranged quite vastly, from my father's plain dislike (he prefers action without feeeeeeelings), my brother's ambivalence (he's not a musical kind of guy and still isn't convinced), to my mother's tempered approval ("Why couldn't it be a happy ending, though?"). Then there's me.

Out of everyone in my family, this movie was truly tailor-made for me. I really need my friend Y to hurry up and watch this movie, because I have this burning need to talk about the ending. SPOILERS AHEAD.

...

THAT EPILOGUE YO.

I need to discuss it with Y, because it is SO REMINISCENT of the ending of Paradise Kiss, which I am positive I have heaped praises upon on this blog at some point. Of the top of my head, I can't remember who else I know who has read Paradise Kiss.

Paradise Kiss ends with George and Yukari parting ways bittersweetly, as George is heading off to fashion school in Paris, while Yukari is staying in Japan to pursue her modeling career. Fast-forward some years, and Yukari has had a fairly successful career as a model turned actress. She's engaged to Hiro, now a doctor---who I always felt was the better match for her. Yukari then mentions that for their honeymoon, they have tickets to a Broadway show whose costume designer is George. The last sentence is: "Apparently it's a comedy, but I'll probably cry."

Likewise, in La La Land, Mia and Sebastian part ways amicably because their dreams take them in different directions. Mia lands an acting gig that takes her away to Paris, while Sebastian stays in Los Angeles to pursue his dream of opening a jazz club. Five years later, she's had a successful acting career plus a husband and little daughter. By chance, during their date night, she and her husband stumble into a poppin' jazz club that turns out to be Sebastian's. Unlike Paradise Kiss, in La La Land we actually see the moment when the two lovers set eyes on each other again. Sebastian and Mia see each other just before Sebastian plays on the piano, which segues into a sweeping 7-minute fantastical segment of what their lives could have been like if their dreams hadn't pulled their love apart. The movie ends with the two of them sharing a bittersweet, knowing look before going off on their separate ways. (Side note: this part was very reminiscent of Roman Holiday to me as well.)

I've read people's reactions to both the Paradise Kiss and La La Land endings on various websites, and it's similar in that there are some very divisive reactions. There is quite a vocal group on the Internet that absolutely HATES that Yukari did not end up with George. Similarly, I read a comment yesterday about La La Land about how the ending completely pissed them off and ruined the entire movie for them, as they felt that the ending betrayed the entire film preceding it. I've also seen some interesting interpretations, with some people coming to the conclusion that La La Land showed how even after achieving their dreams, Mia and Sebastian could never truly be happy for having lost each other.

My takeaway from La La Land is undoubtedly colored by my own interpretation of Paradise Kiss's ending, but as a very excellent article on Birth Movies Death suggested, I think what you garner from the ending is likely hugely dependent on your emotional baggage.

Some people will meet that person in their lifetime---the person who comes into your life and throws you out of orbit. The person who is not to meant to be a soulmate or someone who stays in your life forever, but the person who inspires you at a critical point and changes your life for good. I don't think this will happen to everyone. But for those of you who have experienced this, I think the last ten minutes of La La Land will floor you, as it did for me.


P.S. I finished writing Finale (aka the last chapter) of EP two days ago. There's still a pesky middle chapter I abandoned that I'll need to return to, but the first draft is practically done? Still overwhelmed by how many edits I'll have to make in the revision process, but yay for me?

Fxxk It

It's been a while.

I have my own theories about why this blog has essentially become a relic. For one, medical school has become more and more all-consuming. I am more than halfway through my third year, which has been a year akin to holding a full-time job while studying in the evenings. Another culprit is the fact I have been in a serious relationship for over a year and a half now. No need to pour out lovelorn musings when things are fine and dandy, correct? But I suspect one final factor is influencing my retreat from blogging---my frustrating, desperate attempts to finish my damn story.

I first dreamed up of EP ten years ago, during my sophomore year of high school. And the thing is, until this year, I never truly got tired or sick of it. I went through a number of years barely able to scratch out some sentences, but during that whole time I was constantly tinkering in my head. Then my gap year in 2014 rolled around, and my productivity level hit the roof. And now, as we enter the close of 2016, the wretched first draft is almost finished.

It's been a painfully slow process, and it is not helped by the fact that EP has finally begun to lost some of its original spark for me. I mean, when I really think about it, I'm kind of shocked that I was able to stay interested for so long. But there are days when I'm just tired with wrestling with these characters and storylines. There are days when I really start to question whether it will ever happen. If I will ever finish the goal I've been pursuing for so long.

It doesn't help that one of my acquaintances from college has become a successful writer. She isn't like me. She didn't obey the prescribed "doctor-lawyer-engineer" route her parents wanted to see. Every month or so, I see her updates about the awards she's been winning, the stories she's publishing, or the tweet from a world-famous author praising her work. Each time I see those posts, I think about the mountain of practice questions I need to finish, the looming residency applications I need to fill out, and the half-baked story that's been cooking for too long, and I wonder if this is all just a pipe dream.

Good things came on Thursday. My friend informed me that BIGBANG had released two new music videos for their new album--the last production for the next several years, as all the members leave to fulfill their military service requirement. I hadn't listened to their music in a while. But as I played the music video for "Fxxk It," it was like 2009 again. I could hear each individual voice in that aural tapestry and tell you who was singing at each moment. And when The Badass One entered the fray with the voice that never fails to electrify my core, I remembered that dark period of my life when his songs carried me like a life ring. I remembered how learning about his hunger to succeed inspired a ferocious determination of my own, one that helped to finally pull me out of my slump.

Defying all odds, BIGBANG are still kings at the top of the game in an industry with notoriously rapid turnover. The Badass One is as close as it gets to religion for me.

The Lighthouse

https://www.buzzfeed.com/katiejmbaker/heres-the-powerful-letter-the-stanford-victim-read-to-her-ra?utm_term=.xnPr7jy43#.jb38gRnkL

This article has been haunting me since I read it last night. It is an amazing piece of writing that nearly made me cry while I was sitting in Starbucks on rainy Friday afternoon.

"And finally, to girls everywhere, I am with you. On nights when you feel alone, I am with you. When people doubt you or dismiss you, I am with you. I fought everyday for you. So never stop fighting, I believe you. As the author Anne Lamott once wrote, “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.” Although I can’t save every boat, I hope that by speaking today, you absorbed a small amount of light, a small knowing that you can’t be silenced, a small satisfaction that justice was served, a small assurance that we are getting somewhere, and a big, big knowing that you are important, unquestionably, you are untouchable, you are beautiful, you are to be valued, respected, undeniably, every minute of every day, you are powerful and nobody can take that away from you. To girls everywhere, I am with you. Thank you."

W.A.Y.S.

At forty-four minutes to four
An angel walked up to my door
Opened the windows to my soul
Told me he thinks that I should know
That there's no slowing down
As the globe spins 'round and 'round
You gotta keep going, gotta keep going
Gotta keep going, you gotta keep going
Gotta keep going, you gotta keep going
You gotta keep going, you gotta keep going
You gotta keep going
--

 Time doesn't stop even when your world does.

 --

If there's one thing that I learned
While in those county lines
It's that everything takes time
You have gotta lose your pride
You have gotta lose your mind
Just to find your peace of mind
You have got to trust the signs
Everything will turn out fine
So why aren't you smiling?
Why aren't you smiling?

--

That's why you keep going.

-- "W.A.Y.S." by Jhene Aiko