June 18, 2012

half face

The funny thing about shadowing in the emergency room is how you only see the upper half of faces. As I've come to realize, my mind typically fills in the blanks with a generous image of what I imagine the doctor or nurse's face looks like.

There's a nurse who takes the evening shift -- the first time I saw her, I thought she was really pretty. She had the coveted double lids and her skin was like porcelain. Then I saw her for the first time without a surgical mask days later... I'm not sure why, but somehow the rest of her face seemed to detract from the upper half. However, it's become a fascinating side project for me -- to understand how reality differs from my brain's aesthetic conjurations.

Today there was a doctor in the trauma room of the ER that I'd never seen before. Tall and lithe, he looked much younger than most of the other ER doctors I've met so far. He looked rather handsome, to be honest. I kept my eye on him throughout the morning. When he took off his mask for his lunch break, I discovered that somehow his mouth didn't quite match the one I had fashioned in my head.

Thus far, I have yet to find someone who's actual face surpasses the one I create in my mind.

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