Fahrenheit 451

My English teacher is usually entertaining on her own terms, but today she said something completely unfunny that got twisted into something amusing. Surprisingly, G was the one who came up with the idea first. G noted that when she had said, "Is your middle name Mildred?" as an insult, it sounded like the hook of a pick-up line. Thus, a group of my friends and I came up with these during Journalism.

Baby, is your middle name Mildred?
....because you're boring but hot!
....because you've turned in an alarm to my heart.
....because I can see you burning in the hotel room.
....because I'm the White Clown in your parlor.

Are you Beatty?
.... cuz you light me on fire.

Are you Faber?
.... cuz you're whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

Are you Guy?
.... cuz you're the guy for me.

Are you a Fahrenheit 451 Beetle?
.... cuz I wanna ride you at 100 mph.

Do I look like a Mechanical Hound?
.... cuz I wanna inject you with my proboscis.

Let's be firemen and set the beds on fire.

And I've taken out some of the explicitly perverted ones that the guys came up with (such as the one about "flesh-colored blurs").