But besides the usual fashion round-up and tidbits of odd news, here's something exciting for us to chew on...
OMFG!!!!!11111
Wait. I did not do the trailer proper justice in conveying just how exciting this is. I'm going to have to enlist the help of Tangled's Flynn Rider.
YAY!!!!!!You know what this means, guys? Only two more movies left, and the circus is over!! I'm not even going to try to pretend I'm going to be sad due to the void of Twilight jokes that will imminently arise, because (1) the jokes were getting old anyways and (2) OMG IT'S ALMOST OVER!!!
So whatchu waiting for? Press play!
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0:00-0:24 - Oh I forgot to mention... I've never actually read the fourth book. So why does the Volturi dude get an invitation? Didn't they try to kill our young (well, one relatively so) lovers? Was that in the second book? And why would he be so happy to get one anyway? He doesn't strike me as the type who'd keep cut-outs of bridal magazines and be all, "ZOMG GUYS, I LOVE WEDDINGS!"
0:26-0:28 - Bella's dad doesn't look too thrilled about his teenage daughter's impending nuptials.
0: 29-0:33 - Okay, am I the only one weirded out by the mother's reaction? The way she waves that invitation around in the air, it's like she got the golden ticket to Willy Wonka's factory. Speaking of which, this whole hullabaloo about the wedding invitation is pretty reminiscent of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
0:35-0:42 - LOLLL HAHAHAHAHAHA sorry Jacob aka Taylor Lautner, but if every guy reacted in rage by ripping off his shirt and running outside, I think this world might just be a better place.
0:51 - Here we go guys -- this generation's version of the Golden Ticket.
0:56-1:02 - Okay, this is when my creative analyst kicks in and I start wondering why they chose this epic-choir music for this trailer. Really now, this is the kind of epic music you use for heart-pounding, adrenaline-rushing Star Wars lightsaber duels and Lord of the Rings battles that determine the fate of Middle-earth, yeah? Yet from I can tell from this trailer so far, let's see... oh lookie here, we've got a wedding. I dunno, can't some romantic strumming of the guitar or a couple of violins do the trick?
Oh wait. Maybe it's for the impending heart-pounding, adrenaline-rushing wedding night scene where Bella and Edward engage in some rough and violent vampire kinkiness. Ah ouais, je comprends.
1:04 - "The event THAT WILL CHANGE EVERYTHING..." dun dun dun!!
1:07-1:10 - Aw, K-Stew looks gorgeous!!
1:16 - Creative Analyst is back. Okay, what is up with that statue? Was that in the book? A statue of Jesus Christ hovering over the love shack where Bella and Edward are heating things up? Is that supposed to symbolize divine judgment? I am so confused.
1:18-1:20 - HOLY SHIT WAS THAT EDWARD? Or was that Jacob in rage mode again? 'Cause if that were Edward, now I totally understand the need for epic music. He freaking crushed that windowsill like a grape.
1:21 - That should actually read, in dramatic ALL CAPS red letters and a background choir -- "CAN BELLA SURVIVE HER WEDDING NIGHT?"
1:24-1:25 - Oh look, kids -- waterfall sex!!
1:30-1:31 - Once again, this is probably another case of Sophelia-didn't-read-Breaking-Dawn-and-therefore-has-no-idea-what's-going-on, but... Jacob, why are you popping up here? Did you follow them to their secret honeymoon location? Were you secretly lurking behind that waterfall?
1:32-1:35 - R-Patz: YO MAN, WHY YOU CRASHING MY SEXYTIMES?? *megapunchhhhh*
1:37-1:45 - "That's impossible."
What's impossible? That you got pregnant? Bella honey, do you really want me to start getting all pseudoscientific about this?
1:46-1:59 - All together now: YAYYYYYYY!!!!!
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