Dear CS,

You might not remember who I am. In fact, I hardly remember you. I know you played JV on our high school tennis team, but I can't remember if you were two or three years younger than me or whether you added me on Facebook first. What I do know is that your posts show up on my newsfeed fairly regularly, and for the most part I do enjoy clicking on the links you post, including the British Actors Reading Prose and Poetry playlist from last week (Richard Armitage!).

However, your recent posts relating to your new blog about a crazy roommate have made me very tempted to write you a private message about why your blog disturbs me. But considering how unfamiliar we are with each other, I figured I'd rather not provoke you and passively write you a letter on my own blog--one that you'll probably never read.

As of this morning, you've published three posts on this blog about your crazy roommate, CC. All of these posts have been publicly linked on your Facebook, and you commented below one of them that CC has been blocked from viewing any of your posts. My dear, your blog is on a public platform that even I--who could barely remember you--can readily access. One of your hundreds of Facebook friends may easily figure out who CC is referring to and share the link with her. Based on the tone of your posts, I suppose your response to that would be to flip your hair and say, "I don't care! I stand by my words." If you were truly so impervious to how she may think of you, then you would never have bothered to note that you'd blocked her in the first place. But whatever--if you are prepared and willing to face the possibility that she may discover you blog, then that is your prerogative. Instead, I will address why I find the very existence of that blog problematic.

Once upon a time, I was a freshman at Duke. I lived with two other roommates in a room that should have been a double. One was a girl unlike anyone I had ever met. She ran wild during that first semester, bearing a very inflated sense of self that veiled a whole web of insecurities. One day, I wrote a post about her on this very blog sharing how crazy she was. An anonymous commenter wrote to me, saying that instead of talking about her so passive-aggressively on the Internet, I should address my issues with her in person. In a knee-jerk defense, I was livid and lashed out, wondering who knew about the existence of this private blog would write something like that to me. Four years later, I know I would have written the exact same thing to my former self.

Your posts do seem to indicate that you have confronted this girl in person, which is better than what I had done. However, your description of CC's behavior seems to indicate to me that this girl may bear some sort of mental illness. In my four years at Duke, I encountered more friends and acquaintances with mental issues than I'd ever been cognizant of growing up at home. Yes, these friends and acquaintances may be exasperating at times and difficult to live with--I can empathize and sympathize with your situation. But the very nature of you writing this anonymous blog feels as if you are making fun of her behind her back. Yes, it is ridiculous that she retaliates against you and your roommates by letting the shower run for an exorbitant amount of time. (First thought: during this drought crisis in California?? Second thought: That water bill must be egregious.) But to me, your story isn't funny. Instead, I find it incredibly sad. I find it pathetic that CC has been your roommate for three years when it is clear that neither of you like the other. I find it pathetic that you've chosen to vent about your frustrations on such a public blog. You might point at me and pick out all my past posts where I have discussed personal acquaintances--as one might argue that I am doing now. But by merit of you sharing the link on a status update, no less--one thing is clear. You wrote your blog for an audience. You wrote with the intent of having friends and maybe even almost complete strangers like me share your laughter and outrage. There's a maliciousness in this act--akin to pointing and laughing at sideshow "freaks" suffering from physical deformities--that we could all do without.

Best,
Sophelia