Hero's Journey

Piazza d'Italia in downtown New Orleans

While I was working on Act III this past week, I decided to stop and rethink the story architecture. This was partly because I was having some trouble deciding where to go with Aurora, and I figured it would be best for her story to mirror Charlotte's to make the two lines cohesive. And so, I went and charted out the Hero's Emotional Journey for Charlotte and realized a couple of things.

When I was younger, I had this (somewhat irrational) fear that someone would see the story premise I'd set up on Fictionpress and decide to take it for themselves. Eight years later, this fear seems rather foolish to me because: (1) no one is bored enough to steal a half-written modestly-reviewed Fictionpress story; but mainly (2) over the years, I've developed this stubborn belief that it is impossible for anyone else to write EP because it is made up of so many parts of myself.

The first step of the Hero's Journey is generally referred to as Incomplete/Ordinary World. Done correctly, it sets up the hero's Want and Flaw at the beginning of the story, before the inciting event sets the plot in motion. So, I started thinking about what Charlotte's Want and Flaw are, which made me think about what I was like at age sixteen.

When I was a teenager, I had very low self-confidence. It affected all areas of my life. With tennis, I had a tendency to choke -- that is, you're leading your opponent and just at the cusp of closing of a win, only to get nervous and end up losing the match all together. I didn't play piano competitively, but it was the same at recitals--I would play far worse when it truly mattered.

Socially, I was shy around strangers and uncomfortable with public speaking. I remember thinking at the time that being an introvert was a curse in an extroverted world. I wanted to be an extrovert. I wanted to make friends easily, to comfortably crack the same jokes I made around my friends with people I didn't really know.

Reflecting now, I wasn't so much surprised that I used to think this way. I was more surprised by the fact that I hadn't even noticed when I stopped thinking like this.

At some point between sixteen and twenty-three, I stopped treating my introversion as something to be ashamed of. I embraced it. I learned how to flip the ON switch for extroversion when I need to, but my base level remained. I don't know if I still have the tendency to choke, but I don't think I lack in self-confidence anymore. I am stubbornly comfortable with who I am.


Charlotte's Want is courage -- to be able to stand up for herself socially, and to be able to overcome her stage fright in order to reveal to the world the full extent of her musical talent. Her Flaw isn't merely just a lack of self-confidence. At this point, I was reminded of something the Pagan witch I observed in Durham had told me when she read my cards. "You tend not to speak for yourself, because you don't think you deserve it."

I think I don't deserve it? I had been bewildered by that statement. But it makes sense when I think about it now, and it applies to Charlotte as well. Charlotte doesn't believe she deserves happiness, and consequently, this subconscious pessimism becomes self-sabotaging. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

This revelation hit me in an epiphany. Because now, I finally saw with clarity how the different threads of Charlotte's storyline all feed into the same Want and Flaw, and now I saw what the story's ending must achieve in order to reconcile the two.

Unfortunately, school starts this Monday. Which means back on the grind, which means holding off on EP until after the next exam in about three weeks. Adios.